KingLou Drops Science 2.0

Sorry people I've been so busy working on Lou Reads that I hardly ever have time to think about bloggin at the old bloggity.

I'll just pop in today to say that today we were supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow. We got like half an inch. I am super sick of the weather panic machine selling us the snow fear. They are probably shilling for the road salt and shovel industry. BULLSHIT I SAY! NYC's pollution bubble always wins. ALWAYS!

I'm on vacation in New Hampshire but that doesn't mean I'm not wasting time on the internet!

Also I apparently do not control the destiny of my facial hair. At least not without being negatively compared to people who are considered unattractive. Nice. So far this mustache has gotten me compared to Jose Cuervo, Juan Valdez, a Greek restauranteur and Ron Jeremy. Hooray....

Also the world continues to be dumb.

The original Dirty Cowboy


And the super awesome remake commanded by the Something Awful MASTER PLAN!


The Masterplan is a volunteer challenge for Something Awful members. Upon accepting the challenge the issued challenge cannot be refused. Failure to atleast attempt to complete the challenge results in a Permaban from the site.

Original Volunteer and challanger RUTTIGER!

YOUR TASK:
The Master Plan demands that you recreate, in it's entirety, The Dirty Cowboy YouTube video, complete with the disco cowboy costume or something equally absurd.

The video in question:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw2Q9BdcE9U

The special effects, the dingy environment, the confidence, and the choreography, oh yes, those hot dance moves, must all be copied to the very best of your ability, and uploaded as a response. Your updates will include your scouting out the location for the shoot, your attempts at practicing the dance moves, and the finished product.

Other countries have had adult stars in their governments. Isn't it about time the US caught up with the rest of the world?

I just heard about this on The Sound of Young America or Jordan Jesse GO! and almost forgot about it.



Where the hell is my money for "Hairy Pooner and the Sexerers Bone" or "Hairy Pooner and the Big Dong Prince" surely someone has money for me to make these movies that must be made. Ok "MegaDik versus OctoTwat."

Me lose brain? Uh-Oh...

A great prank I saw on SomethingAwful (yeah I know you're sick of hearing it).

My friends and I have a yearly tradition that we refer to as LobsterFest. LobsterFest consists entirely of us comically harassing a Red Lobster restaurant and then seeing if they will be willing to serve us afterwards. This year was the 5th year anniversary of LobsterFest so we decided to go for broke and attempt to get banned from the restaurant forever. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your perspective, they had a better sense of humour than we originally anticipated. My friend recently posted our adventure in a youtube thread and it got a pretty good response so I thought you guys might get a kick out of it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l--BvXpaGq4

It's worth noting that any music you hear in the video was actually playing on a boombox we brought with us.

I'd love to hear if you enjoyed the video. I'd also love to hear if you hated it and everyone involved. But this is not the reason I am posting. We feel that over the last 5 years we have exhausted our options at Red Lobster and that it is time to move on. What restaurant should be our next target? What incredible story should unfold before the next hapless manager? Should we stop acting like children and get girlfriends? The legend of LobsterFest must live on.

Great Payoff in this video.

Sadly I made this after a internet conversation with Nick Turner generated this sentence. The idea that this phrase could be on a t-shirt was so funny to me I had to mock one up. It's such an absurd statement. First of all people are going to hit the idea of cum-filled anything being served to them and be revolted. But secondly then they hit the idea of shit cakes and the person wearing the shirt was actually served this food abomination and that they ate them somehow un-wittingly. if you want to be a conversation starter please make yourself this t-shirt today.

I made this way back in 2003. Oh the dreams.



Hear more of me reading at Lou Reads DOT com

I am highly concerned for Conan's 11pm show. It's going to be very odd!